General

im really struggling to find a female feeder any suggestions or tips

It can be anxiety inducing when it feels like you've been at something for awhile with no success, but the important thing is to just keep trying if something is important to you, but know when to say "oh well" and move on too. Patience is simultaneously the easiest and hardest part. On paper all you have to do is wait, but it's the waiting that feeds (heh) your anxiety.

Developing an understanding mindset is one of many things you can do while you wait. Understanding comes in a lot of forms, in this case it's understanding that people are out living their lives and don't always have time to respond to every message they get. It might just be they read your message and you're not their type, and that's okay too, because everyone has preferences; the important thing is to not take it personally and to move on.

Instead, focus on making yourself an attractive option. Pictures of yourself are great, and your profile picture is the first thing people typically see. I can only speak for myself, but when I see a woman's huge, fat belly on display in her profile pic, you're damn right I'm gonna click on that and read her profile to see more! Put yourself then in their shoes, how can you make yourself more attractive to them? Show off a little and be a little flirtatious! Again, everyone has different tastes, so what's hot for you might not be hot to someone else, but you'll appear more confident and attractive to someone who *does* find you attractive if you're putting yourself out there.

Something else that might be helpful is to not just message someone "hey" and expect the conversation to flow. Ask a question and be friendly, or even tease a little if their profile says they're down for that, but don't be clingy and obsessive if you don't get a response back.

The important thing is to put yourself out there, but don't be forceful. My advice for messaging is to set it and forget it, otherwise you might be waiting for something that just won't happen. The unfortunate reality is that so many people lash out when they don't get a response, or worse, they do get a response letting them down gently, and they lash out twice as hard. You definitely don't want to be that guy.

tl;dr - Accept that there's different strokes for different folks, and just understand that it might take awhile to find someone that you click with. Don't get discouraged and focus on improving yourself while you wait!

I have been searching for female feeder online for 20-years. So far I have found 6 which I have talked to. It has never moved beyond talking.

All female feeders that I have discovered always live really far away.

I know that I'm not great male on appearance and have faults as well.

I think thank female feeders are really rare in society.

Probably not what you want to hear but... Give up. For multiple reasons.
You're better off trying to get a regular girl and hoping she's open minded enough to play along with your kinks.

You are really right on this

I mean chance of finding female feeder is the same that riding on car, avoiding cat, getting hit by asteroid in the meantime while eating eating cookies and being harrasset by Jehovas witness....

Female feeder that really participate in the kink, are super rear.
On the other hand many women like dad bods and don’t mind if the boyfriends/hubbys pack on pounds.
So getting a girl that is aready more on the chubby side can be a good idea, likely her lifestyle will be less active plus there usually more accepting with there partner putting on weight.
Testing early is probably a good idea, so pack on 10-15 pound in the beginning complain about it an see what she says

Good advice